Theres a clarity that happens when we rub shoulders with the things that we are good at but aren’t in the position to do right now.
Hows that for a thought? Show stopper huh. It maybe redundant and lame to you however this has filled my thinking recently. Not in a “I feel sorry for myself” type of way but more so in these ways…
* Wow, i don’t think i would have done it that way.
* This could be so much better if only…
* I miss that, but how can i get some of that again.
Please don’t hear me wrong, this isn’t some pity party if anything it as mentioned allows me clarity. Because therein lies several things. In what way WE would respond and how would WE given the opportunity examine everything and know that next time WE do have that opportunity what would it look like.
With all that said though there is clarity that comes with a realization of this. Such as more time to reflect on it. With the pressure or maybe i should say expectations to carry out the responsibilities of your job or ministry you can’t take that extra time to think more about the semantics or the details or even the philosophy behind why you did it that way. For me often anyway i would be find myself walking a fine line between we’ve always done it that way so lets just do it and lets turn it on its head and blow this thing up and start over. Yes i know it will take time to do it this way but i don’t want to do it this way because we’ve always done it this way or maybe more accurately put… whats the definition of insanity?
And i’m certainly not suggesting you all quit your jobs and move to NZ to guide hiking or sea kayaking or mountain biking trips. Not all of us can have the opportunity. However consider what it might look like for you to be confronted with the opening statement i made. Furthermore our time here in NZ is not some ‘Robin and Paul escape to find yourself tour’. VOMIT… thats not reality and never will be. However there is a portion of that same opening statement that can only be truly embraced when there has been a portion or the whole of it taken away.
For Robin and i the time span will be several years and you may not have the beauty of being able to do that but there must be moments, retreats, weekends, days off, mini sabbaticals, trips into the back country or outdoors that allow you that clarity. And Robin and i are here at the end of the world for lots of reasons not just the opening sentence.
With all this field research going on its timely when most of it takes place. As mentioned all week the people on these hikes are all savvy people with relatively successful lives. As I wrote this its tuesday evening and everyone has pretty much figured everyone out. Almost like a Tuckman’s Model of Group Dynamics which outlines any groups Forming Storming Norming Performing experience on some sort of level. Not that a lot of storming has occurred or needed to take place. We are past the niceties and for whom its important are having deeper conversations. Part of that this evening included me asking lots of questions but also coming clean to one couple that much of my experiences out here are what i call field research as i ask lots of questions and walk, sit and listen to their ideas of life, success and vocations etc.